Revelation

I never thought I would be good enough to do it.
Good enough to make it.
Even to be just a part of it.
Let alone win it.

But I did.

I have always underestimated myself beforehand. Looked at myself down, lower than anybody else. And, as I found out, that's something I did not deserve.
They saw something in me that I can barely see. Sometimes I see it too, but I take the potential for granted. A mistake.
The people around me trusted me more than I trust myself.

But as it turned out, I was worth trusting.
I was worth it.
I am good enough.

In the end, I proved to be the best.

It was absolutely one of the greatest revelations in my life that I am fit for such a competition when I won the title for Mr. Campus 2009, together with five other special awards.

My apologies if in any way I sound proud.

But proud I am, although not in a haughty way. Being humble has always been one of my aims in life.

I remember hearing a preaching at church once, in our church's anniversary two Sundays ago to be precise, that you can't learn to swim unless you face the waters. Unless you submerge yourself into it. Unless you get on it.
That's so close to what had happened to me.
I never thought I could do good in such a pageant. I almost lost my mind in frustration and desperation for lack of self-esteem. I hate that fact, but that's just me.
I was depressed to the point that I wanted to back down.
I even cried. More than once. Though I hate drama.
Ugh.
But then I did good. I gave my best shot, and all the efforts paid off.
I never thought there was more to see about me. I was shocked myself to discover that I can do it. That I can make it. That I can win it.

Friday, September 11 2009, I'll never forget you. I'll never forget my experience. I'll never forget that competition that changed my life forever.
It made me realize that it's true that there's more to see, so much more to discover, more potential in me than I think. That I'm giving myself less worth than I deserve.

For sure, I'd never underestimate myself again ever.
I'd love myself more.

My sincerest of gratitude to all of those who trusted and supported me all the way, especially my ever-loving, ever-living Father.

With arms open wide, I welcome you, oh beautiful new beginning.