finding a U-turn point

when you realize at one point you need to get back on track to where you were walking on before, what you need is a U-turn and of course, a point to do so. in that kind of situation is where i find myself now.

i used to do regular daily exercise. i started before, about 3 years ago, on a minimal basis of maybe just 30 minutes or so. then i accelerated gradually, increasing my duration until it reached the two-hour length. i got hooked to it that i even found it so fun, not tiresome at one point. then for some reasons, i had to stop it. mainly because we transferred to another house last june 2006. and since then, the change in the place's set-up has been hard to adopt to, and one big reason is that this house where we live now is relatively smaller than the one before, where i first became an avid fitness fan. i didn't really have to abruptly stop my habit after we moved here. in fact i had the chance to continue my routine. but chances and time got smaller and smaller until my regular exercise habit became irregular, then seldom, until it disappeared.

i have been a productive blogger, although not really that much. but compared to my previous months of writing posts in this blog, these past few months, i was apparently absent on the blogging stage for quite a long time. with no fruit of writing, i feel that likewise, i am unfruitful of thoughts. and it's disappointing. it gives me a feeling of guilt. now i hope this is one of the big steps i could take to get back on track, or even write better than ever. actually, that's what i hope for. that if i begin to write again, i'll create more insightful posts than most of those i have written before, which to me somewhat lacked substance. but if without knowing it this one could tend to fall into the same category as those i posted before, hope i could still do better next time, next post. besides i'm a believer that practice makes (not perfect, for noone is) improvements.

i was almost a nerd. i loved studying a lot, particularly reading. i remember when i was in grade six until second year highschool, i was like so thin and nerdy, with those eyeglasses that just makes someone look brainy. i was the aloof one, quiet and active only in classes and exams. i loved to review, primarily prior to exams like monthly and periodical ones. reading or reviewing has been a habit to me. i remember waking up so early in the morning to read my textbooks, sometimes just for a quiz. i used to compete with my classmates, thinking i have to be the highest in rank and the best academically. well, not boasting, indeed i was. for leisure, i read books thin and thick. before, that was the definition of the word hobby. well perhaps change is really inevitable. one saying even has it that the only thing constant in this world is change. and so indeed, i've changed. though i realize now that i don't like that much what i was before, i don't feel i'm presently really that better either. it's like i was on the 'too much' platform before, but now i'm on the 'too less' when it comes to my study habits. i hope i would finally find what is enough when it's enough, and what is needed when it suffices.

i can't necessarily say that i'm better before, yet i also am not talking about being better at the present. now that i'm a college freshman, aiming for a bachelor's degree in information technology, i just hope and pray that from this point on, i would know when the 'not-so-needed' things are enough and when the vital things should be prioritized. at this moment, when i feel deteriorating in all the aspects of my life, all i can hope for is not just a U-turn, but an improvement, and most of all, something new: a significant, evident change.