This is aimless. My efforts are futile. My heart and mind don't change no matter how hard I convince myself to not like you and want you.

Because, what if you were just being friendly? And you're like that to all your friends? What if you were only being kind, and responsive, and approachable? What if you don't like me after all?

But if I throw it all out the window, what if I'll never know?

The only choice now that I have to make is if it's worth the risk - if I can take the consequences - or if I'll only end up drowning in a mud pit, because you don't like me after all.