Happy/Lonely

I am such a lonely person.

I laugh each day.
I get along just fine and I can still smile.

But I'm still such a lonely person.

Tomorrow we'll be having a recognition. I'm lucky to be receiving two awards. Of course I should be happy.

But I'm more lonely than happy.

Because my parents aren't here.
My father has always been not "here" my whole life.
My mom is, but not literally "here."

My birthdays, hers, Christmas, New Year, and times like tomorrow are when I wished she was with me most.

But she never was.

For the longest time in my life that I can remember, she's never hung a single medal on me.
Never handed me a present on my birthday.
Never blew a horn with me on New Year's eve.

'Course she's always there to support me. Provide what I need.
She did it all for me.
But now that she's been always so far, I need her.
I miss her.

And I wish by some sort of miracle she'd arrive before the program tomorrow. Until then, I'll be the lonely person that I am.

I've written one like this before.