A lot of things

A lot of things have happened during those times that I wasn't creating any post for this blog. One thing that happened even changed... something, I'm not sure, but it changed something about me.

Days were ordinary, easy, normal. I was getting along with the system well.
Until November 18.
I started to have fever in the morning. In the evening, it was full-blown. I drank one tablet of medicine that night. That sleepless, dreary, woeful night. It was like I would wake every half an hour, go to the kitchen and drink water and sit there until I want to lie down again. But when I lie down, I feel headache, not relief. I felt dizzy and uneasy. I found it hard to sleep. Truly, when you're unwell, there's just no comfortable sleeping position. I also had labored breathing. At times I would even make heavy sighs. I felt so cold too, while my temperatures skyrockets.

The following morning, I wasn't feeling any better. Instead, I got up before daybreak and vomited. Unfortunately there was nothing in my stomach to vomit. It woke my cousin up. In breakfast, I vomited again. This time I had my breakfast to vomit.

I continued taking the medicine every four hours. Nothing changed. I would have bouts of sweating, sometimes even profuse, but I wouldn't feel or get any better. I was dizzy all the time. Even if I try to deny the sickness, or ignore it, I just don't feel any better. It was like I was stuck in a static state of being sick.

The night that followed was fortunately not worse, but still I was unfortunate that it was the same.

Friday morning, November 20, I was starting to get suspicious about my condition. It can't be just any ordinary fever because if it is, my temperature could've decreased or at least there must have been any improvement in my condition. But there was just none. I still find it hard to breathe, I still feel dizzy, everything's still the same. Until I admitted to myself that I can't fight it this way anymore. I needed to be brought to the hospital.

It was very hard to accept on my part that I'm going to be hospitalized. Again. After five years since I was brought to the hospital for having dengue fever, it was just not that easy to believe. Or I just didn't want to believe it. But I demanded it. I knew I can't go on like that.

So after lunch, I was taken to the hospital, with the great help of my cousin, my love and her mom. By the afternoon, they've taken my blood and urine samples. And because I was finding it uneasy to breathe, they gave me oxygen - the first time in my life ever. And they gave me I.V. The result came out after a while and as it turned out, I had low white blood cell and platelet count, and I was dehydrated. Good thing is, there was no problem detected with my urine. They said it could either be dengue fever (again!?!) or typhoid fever (oh no...).

Later on, they moved me to my room.

And then the healing process went on. Nothing was easy. And as it turned out, what I have was typhoid fever. I had no clue where i got that sickness, but what's important is that I recover.

November 21, I was starting to feel a change, but I wasn't healed yet. I was still unwell that day, but I felt healing. The next day, I was thankful that finally i was starting to feel normal again. Until 11:30 that night, I was finally good to go home.

My stay at the hospital was unforgettable. On my first night, I experienced something like a panic attack. I didn't know why my heart was racing, and no matter how I try, I can't keep up to its pace. I was anxious. They've increased the rate of my oxygen beforehand and while I was on my panic attack (if that's how it's called) I wanted it to be pulled off of me, and then I wanted it on, but just in a slight rate. On the next day, I was good without the oxygen. And onn the night that followed, I had the panic attack again. Luckily this time it wasn't as bad.

My cousin, grandma, my love (can't think of any other code name) and her mother were the ones who helped me. To get to the hospital, to have food, to keep watch of me, to keep me company, everything... But it was my cousin and my love who stayed at night to keep watch of me. Especially on the first night when they stayed up to keep on wiping me with wet towel to help lower my fever. It was also them who would buy something if needed (particularly the prescribed medicine), and they would get out to get anything that was needed. They helped me so greatly, I can't thank them enough.

I took my week-long medication after getting out of the hospital. It ended just yesterday.

So I am very very grateful now that I am back in good shape. All the highest thanks and praises be to God alone.

On the happy side, I was glad I watched New Moon last wednesday. Yes! My most anticipated moment has come. I was happy about the film. It was great, nothing more I can say.

The next day, November 26, I was back to school. And boy, I made a lot of coping up to do for myself! It felt like I've been gone for a month, while I was only absent for a week of class. At the moment, I feel like I'm still at that catching up state, but I know I'm gonna make it if I don't stop. Oh why would I?

I was thankful that I was in good shape enough to go back to school, and back to church. In the worship service in the morning, they made me sing as one of the back-up vocals for the praise and worship, and then I was also the one assigned to lead the church in the intercessory prayer. In the afternoon, I attended the youth fellowship. And even though I had some itchy rashes on my arms and on other areas of my body, plus some red on my face, I made it. I got to do it all just fine.

Right now the allergy (yeah, let's call it that) is starting to subside. And it's a holiday today, so we don't have classes. I have no plans for today whatsoever.

I'm just gonna relish being fine.