Settled

I haven't mentioned this ever but me and my mum haven't talked (and/or talked about it) since our dispute Tuesday last week - until now.

Every now and then, when I would check my e-mail, I'd hoped that she'd e-mailed me, but I always ended up upset, not seeing any new e-mail from her, and thinking she might still be mad at me.

It all started when she got all-jealous over someone else I was getting close to, and then she said a lot of things until I was finally totally displeased and somehow upset by the last thing she said before I dropped the phone on Yahoo! Messenger and signed out of chat. I kept on avoiding her and making contact with her, in the days that followed, but as days wore on, I suddenly started to miss her, and wanted to resolve things immediately. I wanted to talk to her so desperately, I was praying for it every night. I wouldn't want the distance between us to be both physical and emotional - she's already too far from me, living in the Netherlands. I couldn't afford to aggravate that for so long - come to think of it, somehow this has taken a bit long now.

So I was really surprised when I checked my e-mail tonight. As I was sigining in, I was, as usual, hoping she'd mailed me. When the webpage has finally loaded, not only did I find one new message from her, but there were two!

I didn't know what to expect. She might still be angry. I know I did dispappoint her so much. I had to catch my breath a little before I finally clicked open her mail. . .

I was so surprised, but even more, happy, that it was the exact opposite of what I thought it would be. She was wanting to put an end to our misunderstanding! And though at some points of her first mail (probably mostly at the end part) she sounded still angry, in her second mail though, she was absolutely anger-free! I can't retell exactly everything she said on her e-mail, but all-in-all, she apologized, she wanted to fix things between the two of us, she wanted to know if I was angry with her (I was never angry. I was just disappointed by the attitude she had showed back then. But then again, things are already, if not on their way to being, OK now. That's absolutely a thing of the past now, let it not be revived.), and a lot of other things which meant to say that she loves me.

Well I certainly, a hundred-million percent, love her too!

My tears almost welled up upon reading her first mail, and I felt like I had a lot of shortcomings against her, not bothering to approach her before she does. I was overtaken by the fear of rejection before, thinking she might send angry words in reply. But now, I'm immensely happy. I'm really glad now that we are able to talk to each other again, acknowledge our own mistakes, and put things back in place.

I'm anticipating her reply to my e-mail. I did apologize to her for all the wrong things I've said and done, and told her that there was and is nothing for her to be so jealous about again.

I do hope with all my heart that such a thing never happens anymore ever, especially between me and my one-and-only mom.