not goodbye

How do i begin...

Well, yesterday eventually became a big day for me, as it was the day when i took an entrance exam in a college which i feel like entering. I went hungry during the time span of the qualification test they'd given, so i just kind of worried over it cause i could barely concentrate and think well when my tummy's groaning empty. But over all it wasn't that tough, so i passed it with a pretty nice rating point. It's a good result, saying i'm equipped enough to enter the school. Thanks be all to God, as always. And thanks to my friends who've helped me with this. I'd be so awkward and uptight in there if it were not for their esteem-boosting presence.

I could have been happy through the day, but everything went heavy and grey when i watched american idol result night and saw Ramiele, my favorite among all the other talents, eliminated from the competition. It took me a lot of time for reality to sink in. When i started to realize everything, it was like my heart was totally swamped with cold loads i could hardly contain, like it wants to explode but some outer pressure is squeezing it in. I've anticipated she'd be going home at some point, although i admit that of course i really really hoped she wins the whole thing, but she doesn't deserve to be eliminated this too early, considering the fact that she's way better than some of the remaining contestants. But then it's also better to think however that this is not the end of the world for her, and for her career. Everything's just begun. There's so much more to life than american idol. Yet, too bad the grief is still on me as of the moment. I know this takes time to fade. And now that she's out of the competition, and that i won't be watching her perform on idol stage every week anymore, i don't think there's enough reason left for me to stay enthusiastic of watching the show now. She's the reason that i'm always excited about another week of the contest.

Winning or losing the competition does not justify a person's ability to excell in his/her talent to be a great performer in his/her own unique way. It's a training ground for so many aspirants who need to be trimmed, taught and molded as they were being exposed to tons of people everywhere, in able to gain the support and adoration of millions of expectators or fans. As for me, no doubt Ramiele enormously gained my support. She may have said goodbye to the world-famous singing contest, but this is no goodbye to millions of her fans not just in america, but also in many other places around the globe. This was not goodbye at all. It is: "see you later..."